Happy? Of course I'm fucking happy. I'm extremely happy.

Its you guys that aren't fucking happy.

GPS

I feel lost for having a sense of direction. I'm lost because I know whats going on in my life for once, I am in control. Without conflict and sorrow I just don't know where to focus my emotions. I'm too happy, too content. But at the same time I am utterly discontent with contentment. How can everything possibly be so contradicting? Up, down, left, right, this, that, here, there, then, now, all of life's extremities are playing tug-of-war with my focal point and its making me really dizzy. I want to go back to being sad. I want to drown in my sorrows. I want to hit rock bottom and stay there long enough for it to really eat away at me. I want to live for drinking myself to coma each day. I want to live to forget. I want to live to breath and simply be miserable. Happiness makes me weak.

Writing is my release.

I find happiness in sorrow,
Pleasure in pain.
Love in hate,
Sunshine in rain.
Every tick has its tock,
Every good has its bye.
From one extremity to the next
Its what makes us feel alive.

Bottomless pit.

I have sunken into a deep, dark hole, and it seems I can't stop falling.
Every time I think I've gotten close to the surface its like I slip right back down.
But after looking around and realizing I am accompanied by a million others,
I am somewhat comforted knowing that I am not here alone in this darkness.
We are all here, hurting together, dying together.
None of us have a cure for this disease.
We will never meet the expectations that society so highly demands of us.
So in this hole we dwell, holding on to the hands of those who have one to offer.
And praying to a god that we don't believe in for the strength to make it out of here alive.

I'm fine, but I'm not alright.

Life is but a clock of impending doom.
The second hand ticking each moment of our lives away.
I can only hope that one of these ticks my mind will surrender.
And I will be freed from the torture of your face haunting my every thought.

Natural Decay

I can feel everything inside of me dying and crumbling away to bits.
Nothing makes sense anymore other than the echoing sounds of silence ringing through my veins.
My facial expression remains blank unless forced to smile, and although the expression may alter slightly, my feelings don't budge.
Every waking moment, I hope that by some freak accident, it will all be over with.
I have never felt such a loss of hope in my whole existence.
I have hope for nothing.
And for the first time ever, I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.