GPS

I feel lost for having a sense of direction. I'm lost because I know whats going on in my life for once, I am in control. Without conflict and sorrow I just don't know where to focus my emotions. I'm too happy, too content. But at the same time I am utterly discontent with contentment. How can everything possibly be so contradicting? Up, down, left, right, this, that, here, there, then, now, all of life's extremities are playing tug-of-war with my focal point and its making me really dizzy. I want to go back to being sad. I want to drown in my sorrows. I want to hit rock bottom and stay there long enough for it to really eat away at me. I want to live for drinking myself to coma each day. I want to live to forget. I want to live to breath and simply be miserable. Happiness makes me weak.